I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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