Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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