Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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