new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
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We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
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I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dear god my vagina.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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