I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
