I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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