This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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