while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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