the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
