Is it because I queefed?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
