Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
