was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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