bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.