i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
