fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.