maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Hippo gnu deer
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize