Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five

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(949): View more from California

Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that

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(619): View more from California

you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top

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(360): View more from Washington

Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.

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(719): View more from Colorado

SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS

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(477): View more from

I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?

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