A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
