you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
