What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
In America we eat man semen.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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