There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
