I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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