im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
