therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
