no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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