It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
