There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
