I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We don't watch enough power rangers
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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