and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
