The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
