evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
