Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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