She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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