There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
