Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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