In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
