you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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