moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
