I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
