just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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