What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
