Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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