If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
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