I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
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The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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