very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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