I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
