I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
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its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
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I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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