I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
