i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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