I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Boobs are out for the taking
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
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