Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
