Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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