I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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