Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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