I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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