On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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