the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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