I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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