I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
