how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
