Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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