Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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