don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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