Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
