she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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