I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
