now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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