I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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